same old...

Another day, more stuff processed.  Had a punishment and had to have a discussion with Red about the different intensities necessary for me and Lizzy.  Meh.. he was plenty intense for me.  Fricken Delrin cane..

Work work work.

 I had fun today even if it was a slow day.  I did ok with the anxiety right up until Adrienne asked if I wanted to hit the bar for a burger and a beer.  I wanted to say yes.  I said no.  I also told her to keep asking.  One day the answer will be yes.

Here we go again...

I'm required to journal.  She (my new therapist) never reads them.  So guess what, I'm journaling here.  If you don't like mental vomit, emotional regurgitation, me whining or the constant complaints of how stupid I think I am?

Leave...

now would be good...

So what prompted the trip to seek a therapist is the simple fact that I let my social anxiety get the better of me.  I went to camp and spent 4 days hiding in the corner of my camper, in the bed, with the curtains drawn.  Somewhere in the last three years of change, something pushed me over the edge.  I believe it was because my pharmacy switched generic name brands.  The new one sucked ass.  I was back in my corner in two weeks.  At least that's what I think it was.  Well that and having two teenage daughters, one of which is never going to live to see 19.  Because I'm gonna kill her.  I talked to the med doc about it, he recommended talk therapy and if that doesn't help, then medication.  Have I mentioned that I love my doc?  His name is Herb and he has pictures of different herbs all over his office ( the cooking ones).  He's hilarious and cool as hell.  Plus he got my depression meds fixed in a heartbeat.  The not sleeping thing has got him stumped but I'm getting 4 or 5 hours of solid sleep a night.  To me, that's a win.  The other thing the switchypoo did was bring back my depression (duh) and the switch back to the original brand of generic hasn't fixed it.  So he upped that a bit (doubled fer gosake).  Today was the first day of the new dosage.  *shrugs*  Nothing happening yet.

On lighter news, I got 12 pints of plum-wonderberry jam, 10 quarts of chili base, 8 quarts of spaghetti base, and roughly 6 pints of brussel sprouts out of the garden and processed (with Master's help).  The brussel sprouts came from the farmers market because mine were a big fat failure.  We ate the broccoli and most of the beans as they came so none of that got stored, I have a fuckton of carrots to get out pretty soon, and 2 paper grocery bags full of apples to make into apple filling and apple butt.  No I didn't spell it wrong, that's what we call it.  I think I'm going to need more jars.

Karma is a mother

So in the middle of the summer from hell, not only did I have to move during finals week, I got notice from the courts that X wanted the child support reviewed because apparently the $198 per month that he is paying for two children was too much.

I got the results of the review today.

They damn near doubled it.

I am going to assume that he knew that was going to happen and he is being nice and trying to help me go to school since I put him through school.  I called and accepted the new amount right away.

Karma is a bigger bitch than I will ever have to be.

DONE DONE DONE

I have to revise my 5 page research paper and tape that stupid speech yet, then I'm done done done..


And move the rest of our stuff

and clean the old house


I see you laughing over there.

Did I tell you guys about getting the gas shut off?  Apparently Wisconsin Public Service has a new rule.  You need permission from the landlord before the name is changed on the gas bill.  They even sent me an email telling me this.  Which yahell sent to my spam folder... And of course they shut it off at 6pm and wouldn't turn it back on until the next day.  The next day dawned bright and early with severe thunderstorms, which knocked out our electricity.  So I had no gas, no power, and I still managed to get Red off to work with a hot breakfast, lunch packed and a thermos full of coffee.  Then I prayed over the laptop battery while I finished my paper.

It's been an entertaining week.