Deferred disassociation

Could I be more fucked up?  I swear there are days that I hate my own brain.  Srsly.  I've been becoming more and more withdrawn from everything and everyone.  I took down the "about me" section on my fet profile, I cleared my regularly read blogs, I took all my pictures down, I've been hiding behind a book at home.  I quit logging onto yahoo except for about an hour in the morning.  All because I didn't want to experience camp drop.  I miss camp.  I miss the people (mostly).  Because I had non-consensual refrigerator play, I didn't get to play as much as I wanted to so I didn't feel like I had experienced as much as I should have.  So I'm pouting.  And withdrawing.  *head-desk*

Anyone got a spare brain?  I'm ready to trade mine in.