Touching a star

Ever have one of those moments in the scene where you get to touch a star?  What I mean is when you get an inkling or an indication that one of the most beautiful and popular people just might want to play with you?  That wonderfully buzzy, instantly wet, heart pounding moment when you realize that you're going to get to touch and torment and spank and bite someone who is so absolutely yummy that you get drenched just at the thought?  I had one of those last camp.  And I did get to touch her although not nearly as much or as privately as I wanted to.  It's kind of strange because I was so looking forward to it that I was nervous as hell so I didn't do nearly as much to her as I wanted to.  I wonder if I can get up the guts to ask to play with her again...  

Good day

And the winner for the best birthday present ever?  A new digital camera, except that now M can use it to take pics of me with things like rosy red ass cheeks from my birthday spanking.  The runners up were a pair of sock monkey socks, complete with toes, and a pair of brilliant rainbow fuzzy socks.  Socks are a win in my world :D  I have simple tastes.

Deferred disassociation

Could I be more fucked up?  I swear there are days that I hate my own brain.  Srsly.  I've been becoming more and more withdrawn from everything and everyone.  I took down the "about me" section on my fet profile, I cleared my regularly read blogs, I took all my pictures down, I've been hiding behind a book at home.  I quit logging onto yahoo except for about an hour in the morning.  All because I didn't want to experience camp drop.  I miss camp.  I miss the people (mostly).  Because I had non-consensual refrigerator play, I didn't get to play as much as I wanted to so I didn't feel like I had experienced as much as I should have.  So I'm pouting.  And withdrawing.  *head-desk*

Anyone got a spare brain?  I'm ready to trade mine in.

Avoidance is the key to happiness

Yes I'm avoiding my blog like it's got cooties right now.  Yes I took down all my stuff on Fet.  No I'm not leaving the lifestyle.  No I'm not leaving Master.  I'm still processing enough of what happened at camp to be able to coherently write about it without hurting feelings and being bitchy.  Hang in there, ~insert terminator voice here~  I'll be back!

*groan*

This one time at Twisted Tryst

I squished a frog but not as hard as I wanted too.

I cooked breakfast for friends and shared coffee.

I had non-consensual refrigerator play.

I got massaged by one of the hawtest sadists at camp, twice and he out topped the refrigerator.


I was massaged by 4 Doms in one day.

I lost a cherry with Master in the privacy of our camper and it was friggen HAWT.

I stood up in front off 200 of my tribe and was acknowledged for helping. Thank you everyone blush

I had a HUGE squishy moment in the prison staff meeting

I had an even BIGGER squishy moment doing a cavity search that has changed the way I will look at M&M's forever.

I had random spontaneous wonderful play with new and old friends one of whom is "quiet".

I re-learned to love an english accent.

I fell in love with a lizard.
I fell in love with a frog.
I fell in love with a duck...
Again...
I fell in love with my Burninator...
Harder...
I fell in love with my Master all over again...