Sunday, February 26, 2012


M and I were talking last night and I told him that he finally had identified why I get all bucky before events.  It's fear.  You see somewhere along the way, for whatever mother-spawned reason, I learned to be afraid of things like hotels with people I was supposed to be getting along with.  I avoided them for years as an adult but now that we're going to more and more events, I've been getting more and more anxious, to the point of making myself sick before them.  I always seem to have an injury or an illness before as well as just being plain ol bitchy about them.  I can list why I don't like them but honestly this last one was just the worst.  I couldn't even sleep in the hotel bed.  I slept propped up on the couch and hid in my room during the day.  When he forced me out I had the most horrendous fake smile and was constantly outside smoking.  I think in all honesty I enjoy the company of 90% of the people at the events we go to, so what is there to be afraid of?

I'm such a retard...


  1. Not a retard. Here to tell you, babe, you're not.

    Maybe a little whack....but that just adds character! Here's something that works(mostly) for me, excuse me if i'm being presumptuous. You have some of the same mom-inspired issues as i do...i spend a lot of energy doing the opposite of what she beat into me as a kid, and this is one of those things. Be defiant. If i'm afraid of something because i was taught to be, i do my best to be a snot nosed little brat and say "i'm not gonna do what mom said. So there. Nyah!!

    It's stupid, and childish, but it gets me through the door. i just have to be careful not to rub that snottiness all over M....

    Blessed be, lady!

    1. not presumptuous in the least my favorite condiment.. We have a munch coming up shortly so I will give it a shot!

  2. Go with the advice of the condiment! She knows what she's talking about. Works for me, a monkey of contrary nature. I hate being afraid of stuff, so I get mad!

  3. normal...introverted behavior. For me it would be the large number of people. I hate parties. Self-conscious, nervous, shy...all of that. It is so hard to push through it. Yet each time I do, it gets a smidge easier than the last time.

    Glad He pulls you through...


    hey! it's snowing here!

    1. I'm glad he pulls me through too, even if it is kicking and screaming sometimes lol

      Hey! It's raining here! :P

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