*frowny face*

Throwing oneself under the bus is not a common occurrence in this house.  Of course, if it's something I like, I don't consider it that, I consider it indulging myself.  This was something I do.not.like.promise.  Our lovely friend Sarahnade left a delrin cane here, at M's request.  This thing is pure evil!  Ya know the kind of stingy thing that the initial impact doesn't really hurt, but give it a second and it starts to burn and within a 10 second time frame it turns into "HOLY FUCK YOU CAN PUT THAT DOWN NOW".  Yeah...  That kind of cane.  Well, I made the mistake of hiding it, and of course M found out.
*crickets*
No I'm not posting pictures you pervs.
So it became a "topic of discussion", and off the top of my head I spouted, well at least the damn thing is quiet...
The first clue: Him spinning around in his throne with eyebrows meeting his hairline.
Second clue:  "Maybe we should see how spendy those are"

I'm desperately trying to pass the new fucking cane off as an Xmas present with the hopes of delaying the breaking in process....

For Master's Piece  This is my favorite Xmas carol EVER

The love that binds us...

The love that binds us...

I suppose this is the place... My sister is gay and has a beautiful daughter who isn't. I have two beautiful daughters that aren't old enough to know what they are yet. M and I are looking for our unicorn and even more difficult, we would love to add a child that would belong to the three of us. If it happens, great, if it doesn't happen, we are happy with just us. But kids like this one? They give me hope. ☺

Oh just uhgggg

I am coming down with an icky cold...   I'll be back when my ribs stop hurting.

EEET'S ALIIIIIIVE!!!!!!!!

Doing Massive Retarded Happy Dances!!!!


Sparky made it!


And her idiot owner didn't call me and tell me.

Yes I hit him..  Hard...

We now return you to your regularly scheduled programming..

Day 4:  Someone you have to forgive for something

Ya know, I'm betting you think I should put my mom here...  But I'm not quite there yet, so I'll put X.  I need to forgive him for being an insufferable twit as well as being totally narcissistic.  He really can't help it considering the way his mother did and still does treat him.  Do I think he could do better?  Yep, I do.  Was I part of his problem?  You bet.  I enabled the shit outta the guy then belittled and demeaned him when he continued the behavior.  Doesn't make me a very nice person does it?  I do forgive him though because of one simple fact.  He is trying.  He is trying to be a good Dad.  He is trying to be a good partner.  That cuts him HUGE amounts of slack in my book.  I forgive him for not trying while we were in the relationship because frankly even if he had tried, it wouldn't have been "enough" for me.  I just wasn't happy in the relationship so there was no way anything he did would have pleased me.  He's easy enough to forgive.

I just don't think I'm up to forgiving the hard ones like my Mom yet, but I'll get there.

YAY me!

Remember this?  Yeah, well we've had a few attempts at it, and there was one fail, which was still pretty good, and one success.  I came home from work yesterday just flat pissy.  I've had the kids for 10 days (which was great but a stressor), it was a holiday, we were in the camper for 5 days and the last 2 of those it rained, and we were up at his Dad's place with the whole fam damily.
 No we didn't do it in the camper even though the children were way at the other side, no matter how quiet you are, you move.  I don't know if any of you have a pop-up, but when you move in one of the beds like AT ALL, it shakes the whole damn camper and at 16 and 11 they are old enough to know what that rocking means.  While probably amusing as hell, cries of Mom! seriously? do NOT set the mood for me.  I've scarred my children enough thankyouverymuch.  Soooo I was a wee bit stressed.  And of course, as is the way of most couples, I was pissy with him too.

Until he had had enough.

While I was sitting in the bath was NOT what I would call appropriate time for HIM to get a blow job.  It was also not the time for him to order me out of the bath and into the bedroom to lean over the bed so he could give me a good thrashing.  Any idea what that friggen cane that our lovely lady friend left here feels like on warm wet skin? (you can take that home now Sarahnade)  Holy Christ on a Rickety Old Crutch...  And the flat of his hand????????  Spanking immediately after the tub is now a hard limit (shadup).  I actually whirled away from him and buried my ass in the bed so he couldn't get it.  Cause that made it better.  Quit laughing.  Actually that is what had him reaching for that cane (srsly little one, that thing is going home with you either in your bag, or up your ass, at this point I don't care which). Now, contrary to popular opinion, I am not a slave.  (again with the laughing?)  So why did I submit to this?  Because one of the reasons domestic discipline didn't work out for us was because I didn't let it.  I had some stupid thought in my head that he was to force the discipline on me.  Yeah.  I know.  Mind reading didn't come with the marriage contract.  So when he stood in front of the tub and unzipped his pants, I sullenly happily obliged.  When he ordered me out of the tub, I protestingly gracefully complied.  By the time he was done with the cane, I was sobbing but still dry eyed so he entered me from behind and pulled my head out of my ass the blankets by my hair and started with the face slapping.  This time he didn't stop at the first sign of tears.  He made sure that my entire face was wet from the tears and I was flinching from his hand before he stopped.

I felt much better after.

He even helped me back into the tub (think hot water on cane welts) and stroked my hair for a while.

But there were no nightmares!

All is right in my world today. *huge ass grin*

Ker-thunk...

*face plants on sofa*

I'll write tomorrow...

after I warm up...

and get some sleep...

2 days of rain, 2 children, 1 camper....